My boyfriend inherited a house and $700K. He pays me $500 month-to-month lease. Ought to I ask him for $86K to repay my rental?

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Pricey Quentin,

I’ve lived with my boyfriend in my house for over 20 years. We by no means married, and I’ve three siblings. I additionally personal one other rental within the Caribbean, which I paid for myself.

My boyfriend inherited a house from his dad within the South and a big sum of cash, simply over $700,000. We simply acquired again from this inherited house. He’s nonetheless deciding if he/we must always maintain it.

I owe $86,000 on my present house, and my boyfriend pays me $500 a month lease and he pays the electrical and cable invoice. We additionally mutually share groceries. I recognize all his monetary assist.


‘His ex-wife will get half of his pension and Social Safety in Connecticut. I can’t obtain that as we have been by no means married.’

I’m 65 and get a month-to-month pension of $800 and obtain $1,800 Social Safety each month.Collectively, we personal three condos. I’ve no financial savings, and personal two properties.

He’s divorced with six grownup grown youngsters. I’ve solely met two of his youngsters out of the six. For some purpose, he doesn’t wish to become involved with their cookouts and events and so on.

He’s shut together with his youngsters, and speaks to his ex-wife on the vacations as wanted about any of the youngsters and grandchildren. We all the time journey alone. His youngsters by no means journey with us.

His ex-wife will get half of his pension and Social Safety in Connecticut. I can’t obtain that as we have been by no means married. What ought to I do financially to safe my future?

Ought to I ask him to repay my rental steadiness of $86,000, and promise to depart the rental to him fairly than my siblings in my will?

He doesn’t wish to get married, for some purpose; he was married as soon as and he stated he doesn’t wish to do it once more.

The Girlfriend

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Pricey Girlfriend,

Your provide assumes that you’ll predecease your boyfriend, and that isn’t a given. If you don’t die earlier than he does, he’s primarily providing you with $86,000 as a result of (a) companions ought to assist one another out, (b) he has newfound wealth and he ought to unfold it round, and/or (c) it’s not truthful that he ought to have all of this dough touchdown in his checking account when you may have needed to scrimp and save all of those years. It has a faint ring of that school-days chorus, “For those who give me one among your sweets, I’ll be your greatest good friend.” On this case, you already are his greatest good friend. So there’s no upside there.

You’ve gotten been collectively for 20 years and also you by no means married. The explanation for which may be not less than partly associated to your respective monetary affairs. Your boyfriend has a variety of monetary obligations, one house (not less than he had one house earlier than his newest windfall), youngsters, and an ex-wife, when you have two houses, and are freed from your associate’s different monetary burdens. He additionally pays you $500 lease each month, which was clearly a handy association for each of you. Nevertheless it appears late within the day to attract a line connecting his monetary future, that of his ex-wife’s and your personal.

Generally, it’s good to ask for assist. Folks usually need to assist, and it’s a privilege to assist out a cherished one. However to ask him for a bit of his inheritance to repay your own home, particularly when you may have one other rental within the Caribbean that you can promote, appears dangerous timing at greatest, and opportunistic at worst, which brings us again to the “I’ll be your greatest good friend” sentiment. You might be successfully asking your boyfriend for one thing with nothing in return. By not marrying, you may have saved your funds separate. You’ve gotten gotten this far by yourself. There’s a lot to be stated for that.

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